Lost a few comments due to server restoration

Bismillah

I hope I don’t annoy anyone for reposting my posts after Dec 9th. We had some “issues” with one of our websites and due to having to get into the main index the server had to be restored back to what it was on Dec 9th. Alhamdulillah I didn’t cry about it but I am saddened that I lost a few comments. I was able to retrive the posts from reader but I do want to apologize to the last few people who left comments (littlebakr, cookability, shakira, itto, and the other nice person who had the crochet website). I read every comment and am touched when anyone shares anything with me (well, except one person but I never approve theirs ;p).

Anyhow, alhamdulillah ‘ala kulli hal.

ps… Tim, I know this should be a lesson for me. I’ve gotten bit twice.

1431 New Year Goals

Bismillah

Last night I wrote out a list of things I had to do today. Included in the list was to write up a post on one of my challenges for the year. Insha’Allah that post is coming later (once the chores of life are taken care of first) but for now I will focus on some of the new year goals that I have that I want to share, in hopes that I can be encouraged by sharing it, bi’idhnillah.

This past year was a year full of many tests, for all of us, and full of blessings that we will never be able to count. Alhamdulillah. InshaAllah this year, 1431, will be one where we can build better habits and break old ones. I’d like to tackle different areas of my life this coming year but all revolving around my deen, for ultimately this world is temporary and the eternal abode comes after death.

Some of my goals are:

1. To read more beneficial things and really reflect.

2. To keep working on my prayer. I struggle a lot to pray on time. So many different reasons for this!

3. To eat healthier and exercise more.

4. Have a journal. I started to get back to it a few days ago so inshaAllah I hope to retain it.

5. Enjoy the outdoors more.

6. Improve my cooking of simple meals and learn to enjoy cooking.

7. Become a better homemaker (includes lots of things).

8. Get a few college credit courses in.

9. Improve my Arabic and Spanish and go to Fawakih again (INSHA’ALLAH!)

10. Declutter more and more.

11. Waste less.

12. Find ways to live a greener life.

13. Read and memorize more Qur’an.

14. Read Ma’arif Al Qur’aan more. (I love this tafseer!)

15. Work on a 101 for 1001.

16. Remove yeast from my life.

17. Be consistent with green smoothies.

That’s all for now. Insha’Allah as the year continues I will continue to think of these goals with a more specific set of SMART goals for each and may alter these. Of course, the full list is offline but inshaAllah blogging needs to remain beneficial for me.

Facing Our Children’s Pediatricians

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

A lot of my friends do not know that I fear going to the office of our children’s Muslim pediatrician. The last two times I was there I felt stripped of my right to question and to be a voice for my children who can’t yet stand up for themselves. I sought answers from their pediatrician about vaccinations and was open minded to discussing anything that would allow me to get past my fears of vaccinating my children, but the response was enough to frighten me to never want to go back to that office again. Instead of having an open discussion I was made to feel guilty for not preventing disease and possibly death for my children if I didn’t have them vaccinated according to their own schedule. I was made to feel irresponsible and selfish and my ignorance was thrown right in my face without any one of my doubts being answered with evidence. I did get an invitation to visit the American Academy of Pediatrics’ website but that did not suffice for me.

I have friends who have children with Autism and other psychological disorders. 1 out of every 150 children have Autism and as I just heard someone on a video say, this does not include all the other psychological disorders that are affecting our children.

I am ignorant and I accept it but my ignorance leads me to be cautious. Islam teaches me to be cautious. I can’t allow someone to touch my children with something that could possibly harm them in more than one way for life or even kill them. My pediatrician and the pediatrician’s of many others want to make us think that because we are ignorant and because we are not scientists or researchers or doctors that we must just go with the flow. I don’t think so.

I do feel bad that my pediatrician hasn’t seen my kids but that right was lost when they failed to acknowledge that I am the mother of my children. I know plenty of sisters who fear questioning their child’s pediatrician out loud because they know they don’t know enough about vaccines or Autism anyways. Do they have a right to even question? Do I have the right to question if I am not one directly involved with the making and researching of these vaccinations? Who do I think I am? How dare I question my pediatrician who has studied for so many years and who relies on the research of others?

Why am I sharing this? It’s because I got a link to a video here. That led me to you tube to watch a few videos about Autism and vaccinations. I’ve read this stuff before and my issues with my pediatrician happened probably a year ago now, so what is the deal now? The issue is that I can’t step back into their office without shaking. My children’s Medicaid does not cover the ND we visit about an hour away. We do have some available closer but this is who I decided I could attempt to trust and that is who we go see. But the very fact that I shake at every thought that my children will have to step back into the office of someone who thinks I don’t care to protect my children from disease and could even cause their death, is enough to make me share this with you.

I have attempted not to hold a grudge but how can I not? The very fact that the pediatrician is a Muslim only makes it worse. How do I overlook such treatment and not make it personal when it is personal? It is the life of my children and I am the mother – the one who will care for them day and night if Allah continues to give me that ability.

I’ve attempted finding a different pediatrician and am still searching for someone more open minded. I have kept this one because I have no other choice if my children will be using Medicaid in this state. Will I go back eventually? Allah knows best. If our ND recommends it, I may, insha’Allah.

When my baby was sick a few months ago I was scared to death. I begged Allah for His Mercy so many hours of each day that went by. I had no support from anyone near me. Most of the support was from people I have met online and online forums that spend their time encouraging people to keep trying, against all odds. I was actually trying to keep it all natural. I called the pediatrician’s office to ask for advice – something that is normally given to me when my children go every few weeks, but this time it was taken from me and I was made to feel guilty for not having taken them in a few months. Why should I when I know that the agenda of vaccines will be thrown at me once again and when on top of that I will probably hear it worse than I did the first time?

We took him to the hospital and we got the antibiotics and they sat in our fridge but I avoided them as long as I saw improvement in my baby. By Allah’s Mercy, after all the sleepless nights and after all the tears and dealing with attacks (some harsh and others not so much but still there) by people that I love, Allah allowed him to get over it without medication – Alhamdulillahi Rabbil ‘Alameen. I tried everything in hopes that I could start believing more in the perfection of our bodies that Allah gave us. Our immune systems are very complex – amazing indeed.

Do I owe any thanks to my pediatrician? Not at all. Did I cure him? Allahul Musta’an! It was only by Allah’s Mercy that He was cured but I am ever so grateful for rebelling against the norm and questioning things around me.

I met our ND during this hard time with my youngest and he taught me so many lessons in our first meeting. I’ll tell you something else. After seeing the quality of care that this ND gave my baby I realized that he truly cared for him. He didn’t rush me out of there. In fact, he wasn’t even really supposed to be at work that day! He wouldn’t touch him until my son felt comfortable to be touched and that was about an hour later, subhana’Allah. The only experiences we had with our medicaid pediatrician was a 10 minute wait and a 5 minute visit, AT MOST. How can you figure out how my child works in 5 minutes? Is that how important he is to these doctors today?

It costs to go to a ND but it is worth it. You don’t have to go to an ND all the time, however. I don’t. I call him up and I ask him for advice but I follow my motherly instinct and I do research and I go to friends who have a lot of experience with more natural medicine. I keep my mind open to western medicine and I keep the antibiotics in the fridge, just in case they are needed. But I don’t give in immediately. Yes, it took a lot to get to where I am now. Brother Abdullah from Heart Medicine and his wife can attest to that. And although I was worried, I am now so grateful, Alhamdulillah.

I remain ignorant about vaccines and the making of pills and so on as I am not someone who actually sits behind a desk actually studying and making these things. But I do not remain ignorant about my children, alhamdulillah. I spend my entire day with my kids, almost every single day of my life for the past 5+ years. I have held them tight when their bellies have been aching. I massage their feet when the growing pains hit them. I am hard when I have to be and gentle most of the time. I am not perfect – I make so many mistakes. But I remain their mother and if a pediatrician at any moment assumes that I would in any way want to hurt them then they can’t have my trust. And they need MY trust to lay a hand on my children.

I hope Allah opens a door for me to find someone more open minded and I hope that those friends of mine who would like to find more open minded pediatricians also get a way. I know that if I come across one that is covered by Medicaid I will for sure let them know if they are within town, but even then…even then, I will still not let go of my instinct nor will I allow myself to be consumed by all of the propaganda and pills and junky advice given to us.

This isn’t only about vaccines or Autism or psychological disorders. This is about letting us choose our own paths, even if they aren’t the norm. To pediatricians and the rest of mankind who fight us: Encourage us to get a hold of our lives in a holistic way, not just partially. Talk to us and give us room for questioning and even rebellion as is our right as parents. Give me some confidence when I step into your office and let me feel that you really do care about my children – COMPLETELY. Let me Earth School if I want to and if you disagree tell me why or just keep quiet – but do not make me feel low just because! And please show us that you are open minded to other people’s ideas such as Weston A. Price foundation and insha’Allah we will also remain open minded to your ideas.

To moms like me: please do your research and don’t let anyone make you feel lower because you are ‘just’ a mom. I am not a doctor but I know a whole lot about the world through the reading that I do and through the questioning that I make. I would not have found Islam if I didn’t question.

May Allah Ta’ala guide us to what is best and forgive us for our shortcomings. Ameen

Homeschooling in California

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

I am completely behind on homeschooling news these days, but there is definitely some news in California!

Threat to Homeschooling 

“A primary purpose of the educational system is to train schoolchildren in good citizenship, patriotism and loyalty to the state and the nation as a means of protecting the public welfare.”

Patriotism? I thought the point of the educational system was to educate? And protecting the public welfare from what exactly? The possibility that a child can grow into an adult with intelligence? Come on! This is exactly why the right to homeschool should continue.

Last Chance for California Homeschooling?

The parents of these homeschooled children must be very nervous at this moment. Homeschooling is a decision that parents make because they realize that their children are worth it. I’m not saying that parents who put their children in public school don’t think their children are worth it (though there are those who neglect their kids entirely), but the problems with the public school system are very clear today. In my city alone, we have one of the lowest graduation rates in the country – right behind Detroit! Read here. Our school system sucks here. I would be crazy to ever put my child in such a place. (Sidenote: If you are a parent that may find homeschooling expensive or hard, please do more research. There are many ways available if you simply are creative and look and ask around. Don’t give up.)

More news over at the Home School Legal Defense Association & if you are a parent who is homeschooling here in the states, who hasn’t yet signed up with the HSLDA, you should really consider doing so. They are Christian but they are for all homeschoolers.

For state laws on homeschooling, please visit this link: http://www.hslda.org/hs/state/default.asp

I also had to do a search on Obama and homeschooling because homeschooling is a very important issue for me, and I haven’t really been paying much attention lately to this topic. I came across this just now: Homeschoolers for Obama. I’ll be looking into this further, insha’allah.

Please pray for these parents who want to homeschool their children – even if you aren’t one that fully agrees with homeschooling for whatever personal reasons. Parents should have the right to decide how to teach their children, without the govt. butting into their lives.

A Talk on Homeschooling

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

Homeschooling

11:00Home Schooling

A California appeals court ruled that parents must be certified teachers in order to home school their children. The decision has sent a chill through the nation’s growing home schooling community. We’ll look at trends in home schooling and new attempts to regulate it.

Guests

Mike Donnelly, staff attorney, Home School Legal Defense Association

Rob Reich, associate professor of political science and ethics in society, Stanford University

Gretchen Roe, home schooling parent for the past 14 years; part-time home schooling community liaison for Calvert School

Help Khalid Ali Family

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

On the evening of Monday March 31st a Somali family in Ottawa, Ontario lost their home in a fire. There were 7 children in the family, and as the mother tried to round them up to escape, the youngest became confused and ran in the opposite direction. He did not make it out of the fire, he was 2 and a half years old (named Khalid). The father was at work, checked in on his family half an hour before the fire, and came home to find his house burned to the ground.

It was an electrical fire and was not caused by any mistake on the family’s part. Everything in the house was lost!

For more information on how you can help, please visit the Khalid Ali Fund.

Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’un. Insha’Allah I would like some of us in America to get together some donations of clothing for this family. I know that there are many of you out there who can help but due to income can’t afford shipping. If you are someone who can help pay for the shipping of someone in America who can’t afford to ship their items, please email me. And if you are someone reading this blog that would like to help out with clothing or other necessity items but need assistance with shipping, please email me. My email address (almost forgot) is ummlayth [at] gmail [dot] com. I can get you together with the appropriate person so that more of us are able to help insha’Allah.

May Allah bring ease and patience to this family, and may He reward them for every tear that is shed.

Update: Their community has given them all their clothing needs. Insha’Allah those who can help can continue helping in other ways. Keep praying for them.

A Drive to Achieve the Extraordinary

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

Zen Path: From - http://www.lifecoachingjourney.com/zen_path.jpg

I believe that we all have the tools to improve our lives. We do need to have dedication and an ultimate goal. The vision of where we want to be is what will drive us through the ups and downs of our journey, with Allah’s help. Whether we want to learn a new language, live in a different country, become healthier, or learn the art of silence, it all comes down to how much we really want to succeed. That’s why I am asking myself (as should you) many questions.

Do I just want to talk the talk? Am I willing to walk at all? What is the ultimate goal that I seek in life? To waste my time complaining about the things I can’t do? Do I want to accomplish something so big that not only will benefit me but hopefully inspire others to go out there and be better? What have I been blessed with that will enable me to achieve my goals in life? And what negative traits in my persona could actually become the stronger points that will help me advance in life?

Listen to: A Drive to Achieve the Extraordinary

& Creative Solutions to Life’s Challenges

Muslim Women & The Veil

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

The veil, be it the basic headcover or the face veil, is part of the religion that Allah – Glorified and Exalted is He – has given us, via our Messenger Muhammad, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him. Here are a few links that bring forth the basis for these acts:

Why Hijab? – Shaykh Nuh Keller

Concerning the standard explanation of the verse of hijab – Ustadha Zaynab Ansari

The Hijab between Human Thought and Sacred Law – Shaykh Muhammad Isam Eidou

Taking off the Hijab in hostile America – Shaykh Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf

Is it necessary to wear niqab? Isn’t hijab enough?

Do I have to wear the niqab?

Take note that the last two do mention that it is okay not to wear niqab, but that doesn’t negate that niqab is a part of Islam, and is obligatory according to a few schools of thought (Shaf’i & Hanbali view it obligatory, while the Ahnaf view it obligatory due to fitnah).

More on the defense of the face veil/Niqab

Part 1

Part 2

The Shafi’i stance

We don’t have to agree with everything contained but we should do our research prior to speaking about these issues without the proper knowledge. We all have different situations with our dress, and our deen, period. There are those of us who wear khimar, others who also wear niqab; there are those of us who want to but can’t due to our own personal reasons; some of us may believe in the obligation of both but may leave niqab in the west, etc. Whatever our scenario, we can still come together, encourage each other to become better human beings all around, and try to bring the best out in each other. There has always existed some type of disagreement, but not this resentment that becomes too apparent when this topic goes public online and offline.

We should stop the judging of sisters who may not be fulfilling all of the conditions of Islamic dress properly – whatever their issues may be. Instead, we should be encouraging so that each of us will pay attention to the details surrounding our worship, but not for people – for Him. Remember that we veil for Him because He has commanded it. It is this intention that makes our way of dress beautiful to ourselves. Remembering that to Allah we are to return is what will give us the patience to deal with those who mock us when we go outside looking like Muslim women

Let us be patient, merciful, and open minded about our religion. That is how we learn to be compassionate and understanding. This is how we’ll taste the closeness that we should have as a community, and learn to truly care for each other, insha’Allah.

*I closed comments because the links are there to answer questions, and the advice I wanted to give is there for each one of us that reads this. I prefer to avoid any possible problems due to this topic anymore, and only on certain occasions may I actually discuss this online.

Islam Inspires Meme

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

Rules:

1) Answer the following questions
2) Post on your blog with link to who tagged you
3) Tag a minimum of three other bloggers and include links to their blog in your tag. Make sure to let them know you’ve tagged them too.

Meme Questions:

1) What Qur’anic verse do you find most inspiring and why? What does it mean to you personally?

فَإِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا

So verily, with hardship there is ease. [ash-Sharh, 94:5]

I’m a stressed person by nature; I take things to heart quicker, I get headaches from thinking too much, and I can be very impatient during hardship. When I first came across this ayah I felt at peace. Finding this ayah shifted my mindset of concentrating on the bad moments to being hopeful for that moment of ease. I really believe when we are tested it pushes us to be grateful for those moments of ease that are ever so often ignored.

2) What Hadith (Qudsi or Sunnah of the Prophet salalahi alahi wa salaam) do you find most inspiring and why?

I have two favorite Hadith Qudsi: 15 and 34.

They inspire me because I don’t know what my life would be like if I didn’t do dhikr and if I didn’t have hope that Allah forgives us.

3) Other than the Prophet himself salalahi alahi wa salaam – what Muslim man do you find most inspiring and why?

Prophet Ayyub (peace be upon him) was a man who went through very hard times and still held onto his faith in Allah, increasing in it with every struggle. He was a man that displayed the meaning of patience, determination, and obedience.

4) Who is the most inspiring Muslim woman to you and why?

Sumayya bint Khubbat (Allah be pleased with her). Whenever I was treated badly after my conversion, I reminded myself of the strength of Sumayya’s faith. She gave her life for her love for Allah Ta’ala. What more inspiration do I need?

5) What CONTEMPORARY (i.e., living) Muslim do you find most inspiring and why?

Shaykh Nuh Ha Meem Keller. His story of how he came to Islam is beautiful and very inspiring. To go from a normal American man to a man who has decided to abandon all of the trivial things this dunya has to offer is inspiration in and of itself. To many he may be considered an extremist for his abandonment of many things we are too weak to abandon, but he knows that to live this life in the most fulfilling manner, we must train ourselves to abandon anything that distracts us from the worship of Allah, and the betterment of our souls. It has been a blessing to find him. May Allah protect him and his family.

6) How has Islam inspired you in your daily life?

Islam has brought my life together at a very young age. When all of the teens my age were dating, drinking, smoking, doing drugs, I was ready to settle down in my new faith, find ways to improve myself and get away from all the hype. This whole going green thing has been because of Islam, too. We can’t have good adab if we forget ourselves and the earth.

7) If you could do anything at all to inspire others through Islam, how would you do it?

My main goal in this dunya is to work on myself and my family. I want to offer my children the inspiration and tools they need to help others. I would also like this blog, wherein I share a little bit about my struggles, to encourage other sisters to take a hold of their lives. We need to accept that we are human, try to fix our ill habits, and become healthier human beings all around. We waste our time so often on trivial matters that we lose ourselves and our Iman.

I tag: Abul Layth, Fatimah, Aeryn, and Nadia. And thanks to Aaminah for a wonderful meme.